Wednesday, January 22, 2020

So Woohoo new freaking year but still the same me

I really need to get out of Baltimore it's no good for me but neither is Kingsland, TX or Austin, TX.  The best place I lived was Chapel Hill, NC but it's so expensive now there's no way I could ever afford it.  I got me a little part time job - it's only like 9 hours a week so I'm hoping it's not too stressful. It's nice to get out of the house.  I do fundraising for Johns Hopkins which I feel is a little crazy considering i'm pretty sure tuition is ridiculous there but who am I to judge.  I wish I could reach out to total strangers and beg for money (which I have) and actually get some because unlike Hopkins I actually need help! The people seem nice, a lot of them are students, have been students or work for Hopkins I haven't spoken with everyone that works there but i'm none of the above.

I'm still fighting for my social security disability to get reinstated that would be so amazing.  Still really struggling with addiction like what the fuck does it take to be sober and enjoy life not that I enjoy life inebriated at all but i dont enjoy it sober either.  I want to have joy in my heart not negativity all the time I might even have to give up gambling too. Food is a big problem for me too the only way I can Sat at off the food is to be strung out on meth and never have money for food but this is not an option in more ways than 1.


So here today I make a commitment to myself and to my kids:

1. I will spend less time on my phone doing unproductive things (I.e. - playing useless games)

2. I will spend time with my kids in more fun ways rather than just sitting with them in front of our screens.

2. I will spend more time taking care of my mother's house.

3. I will eat less and try and make sure it's healthy food.

4. I will no longer take narcotics that aren't prescribed by a physician.

5. I will exercise at least 3 days a week.

I'll try to keep you all (if anyone actually reads this) posted weekly

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